Activities to Build Confidence in Children

Confidence is one of the most valuable gifts we can help our children develop. It is not about raising kids who never feel afraid — it is about equipping them with the tools to face challenges with courage and resilience. And one of the most effective ways to build that confidence? Through hands-on activities that challenge, teach and reward.

Research in child psychology consistently shows that children who participate in extracurricular activities have higher self-esteem, a greater ability to cope with failure and healthier social relationships. But not all activities work the same way — and choosing the right one can make all the difference.

Signs of Low Confidence in Children

Before we talk about solutions, it helps to recognise the signs. Low confidence does not always look like shyness. Watch out for:

Avoiding new challenges: "I can't do it" before even trying.
Giving up easily: Quick frustration when something does not work out on the first attempt.
Constant comparison: "Jake is so much better than me."
Seeking excessive approval: Needing constant validation from adults for every small action.
Harsh self-criticism: Statements like "I'm stupid" or "I never do anything right."
Withdrawing from social situations: Preferring to be alone out of fear of being judged.

If you recognise some of these patterns in your child, do not worry — confidence is not a fixed trait. It is a skill that can be built, step by step, with the right experiences.

How Activities Build Self-Esteem

Extracurricular activities are natural laboratories for confidence. Here is how they work:

Progressive mastery: When a child learns something new — whether it is a karate kick, a line in a play or a chord on the guitar — they experience the pleasure of progress. Every small achievement sends a powerful message: "I can do this."

A safe space to fail: In a class, mistakes are part of the process. Children learn that failure is not the end of the world — it is simply a step along the way.

Belonging to a group: Feeling part of a team or a group that shares similar interests strengthens the sense of belonging and acceptance.

Constructive feedback: Qualified instructors know how to give feedback that motivates rather than discourages, teaching children to handle criticism in a healthy way.

The Best Activities for Building Confidence

Martial Arts

Martial arts are arguably the most effective activity for building confidence in children. The belt grading system offers clear, tangible goals — each belt earned is visible proof of progress. Beyond that, martial arts teach discipline, respect and self-control, three fundamental pillars of self-confidence.

Judo, karate and taekwondo are particularly recommended for shyer children, as the training environment is highly structured and respectful, which creates emotional safety.

Theatre and Drama

Stepping onto a stage and performing a character is a powerful exercise in overcoming fear. Drama helps children express emotions, project their voice, maintain eye contact and cope with exposure — all skills that translate directly into everyday confidence.

For children who struggle to express themselves, the mask of a character can be liberating. By "being someone else," they discover abilities they did not know they had.

Team Sports

Football, basketball, volleyball, handball — team sports teach that success depends on everyone's effort. Children learn to contribute to something bigger than themselves, to celebrate victories together and to overcome defeats without feeling alone.

The coach's role is crucial here. A good coach knows how to highlight individual effort within the team, making every child feel valued regardless of their technical level.

Art and Music

Creativity is a profound form of self-expression. In music or art classes, children create something that is genuinely their own — a painting, a melody, a sculpture. There is no "right" or "wrong," which frees the child from performance pressure and allows them to explore without fear of failure.

Music, in particular, offers a unique combination of discipline (regular practice) and expression (interpreting a piece in their own way), reinforcing both perseverance and personal identity.

Adventure and Outdoor Activities

Climbing, orienteering, camps, adventure courses — these activities put children face to face with physical challenges that require courage. The feeling of reaching the top of a climbing wall or completing a trail in nature is unmatched. Their whole body says: "I did it!"

Outdoor activities also have the added benefit of reducing anxiety and improving mood, thanks to contact with nature and physical exercise.

Age-Appropriate Confidence Builders

Ages 3 to 5: Planting the Seeds

At this age, the most important thing is to create positive experiences without performance pressure:

Toddler gymnastics: Develops motor coordination and body awareness, giving the child a sense of physical competence.
Creative dance: Moving freely to music teaches children that their body is capable and that expression is valuable.
Swimming: Mastering the water is a powerful achievement for young children. Swimming teaches perseverance and gradual fear-conquering.
Structured free play: Supervised play workshops allow children to explore, create and interact in a safe environment.

Ages 6 to 8: Building Foundations

Children can now follow more complex instructions and understand concepts like progress and improvement:

Martial arts with a grading system: Belt progression provides concrete goals and visible rewards.
Theatre and improvisation: Improv games are particularly effective at this age, as they require no memorisation and reward spontaneity.
Team sports focused on cooperation: Leagues and mini-tournaments without rankings, where the focus is on playing together and having fun.
Group music: Playing in a small ensemble teaches children to listen to others and contribute their part.

Ages 9 to 12: Consolidating and Challenging

Older children benefit from activities that demand more autonomy and responsibility:

Individual sports with a social element: Athletics, competitive swimming or tennis, where the child competes against themselves but trains with a group.
Long-term creative projects: Putting on a play, preparing an art exhibition or recording a song — projects that require planning and perseverance.
Leadership activities: Scouting programmes, peer mentoring or responsibilities within the team.
Outdoor challenges: Climbing, canoeing or orienteering courses that test limits in a safe and controlled way.

The Parent's Role: What to Do (and Not Do)

Praise Effort, Not Results

Researcher Carol Dweck at Stanford University has shown that the type of praise we give children has a profound impact on their mindset. Saying "you're so clever" may seem positive, but it creates a fixed mindset — the child starts avoiding challenges for fear of losing that label.

Instead, praise the process: "I loved seeing how you didn't give up, even when it was hard" or "You can tell you've been practising — your effort really paid off." This teaches that competence comes from work, not innate talent.

Avoid Comparisons

"Look how well your cousin already does that" might seem motivating, but it destroys confidence. Every child has their own pace and their own strengths. Compare your child only with themselves: "Remember when this seemed impossible? Look how far you've come."

Give Space for Autonomy

Resist the urge to fix everything. If your child is building a puzzle and struggling, do not place the piece for them. Say: "Try turning it around. What do you think?" Confidence is born from solving problems on your own, not from having someone solve them for you.

Normalise Failure

Share your own experiences of failing. Talk about a mistake you made at work and what you learned from it. Show that adults fail too — and that it is perfectly fine. This gives children permission to make mistakes without feeling like the world is ending.

When to Seek Professional Help

Most children develop confidence naturally with the right experiences and adequate support. However, there are situations where professional intervention may be needed:

The child shows intense anxiety that interferes with daily life (refusing to go to school, avoiding all social interactions).
Low self-esteem is accompanied by persistent sadness, sleep disturbances or changes in appetite.
There are signs of bullying that are systematically undermining confidence.
Despite participating in activities and having family support, the child shows no improvement over several months.

In these cases, a child psychologist can help identify deeper causes and create personalised strategies. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness — it is a sign of attentiveness and care.

Get Started Today: Find the Right Activity on KidsToGo

Confidence is built one step at a time, and the first step is finding the activity that will light that spark in your child's eyes. On KidsToGo, you can explore hundreds of options — from martial arts to drama, team sports and creative activities. Filter by age, location and activity type to find the perfect fit.

Because every child deserves to feel capable. And with the right activity, they will.